The big birthday, the family wedding: where to put everyone

Get the whole family into one building, just not into one flat. For most celebrations that means one big apartment where everyone gathers, plus one or two smaller ones nearby for the relatives who want to be in bed by nine.

Sizing the group

Big apartments are easier to find than you might think. Plenty of the residences we list have three-bedroom flats and a fair few go to four or more, and a four-bed with a proper dining table will take a birthday lunch for twelve without anyone eating off their knees. With a mixed-age group, split it up. Grandparents often want a one-bed on a lower floor with a lift (check, because not every building has one), teenagers want a door that shuts, and parents of toddlers want a second bathroom more than anything. Ask for flats in the same building rather than the same street, since walking down a corridor to breakfast beats rounding up five people in coats.

A block of hotel rooms puts everyone on a corridor with nowhere to sit together but the bar. An apartment gives you a living room for pre-dinner drinks, present-opening and the post-mortem the morning after, plus a kitchen for the tea and toast no hotel breakfast room will serve you at half ten. The trade-off is fewer on-site restaurants and fewer staff about at 2am, so if that bothers your lot, pick a residence with a staffed reception.

Tea at The Ritz

For a milestone birthday, The Ritz on Piccadilly is still the obvious choice, and fair enough. Afternoon tea in the Palm Court starts at £95 for adults (less for children), a sitting runs to just under two hours, and they'll lay on a celebration cake if you mention the occasion when you book. Men need a jacket and tie, nobody gets in wearing jeans or sportswear, and weekend slots go months ahead, so book the tea before you book the flights.

Weekdays are easier to get and calmer once you're in. With very small children, weigh up the dress code and the length of the sitting before you book, because a cake cut back at the apartment might suit them better.

Arrivals, deliveries and the last morning

Standard check-in times don't suit a celebration. Relatives land on different flights and someone always turns up at 9am with a suitcase, so ask about early check-in and luggage storage when you send your dates rather than on the day. Direct guests are sometimes offered early check-in or a late checkout, and for a group that's worth more than any upgrade. If the party's on a Saturday, check in on Thursday or Friday so everyone gets a day to recover before the big lunch.

Flowers, a cake, a case of champagne and a rented high chair all have to arrive somewhere. A residence with a front desk will usually take deliveries for you; get that confirmed in writing, with names and rough times. If you're hosting in the flat, ask whether they can supply extra glasses and chairs, and whether the building has rules on noise after 11pm. A private chef is often less of a faff than a restaurant booking for twelve, and the residence may know one it works with, which spares you the set menu and the service charge on the drinks.

Stagger the departures as well. If the whole group checks out at 11am on Sunday, the morning goes on packing instead of one last breakfast together, so ask for a late checkout on the biggest flat, where everyone gathers, and let the smaller ones leave when they like.